As I’ve been fighting my way out of a heavy season of life, I shared that worship has been my number one weapon against all the weight crushing me. And as I’m starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, as the circumstances are changing and my perspective is shifting, God has been opening my eyes to a new weapon to add to my arsenal. Gratitude.
It’s cliche, and it’s simple to roll your eyes at the idea. Saying thank you for the dirty dishes, and the stinky laundry, and the messes all over the house has been tossed in my face enough times to make me want to gag. Seriously. I know all of those headaches mean I have blessings in my life. I’m still not thankful that someone spilled Cheerios all over the floor. Again. I promise not to tell you to be exuberant over the dirty sock on the counter. I have no joy for this thing.
But what Holy Spirit has been showing me, what he keeps reminding me, it that I need to reshape my thinking. Several years back, I was listening to some teachings by Graham Cooke, and was smacked upside the face with etymological understanding that I didn’t know before. That repentance isn’t necessarily some desperate weeping and mourning and guilt that results in an “about face”. Yes, sometimes the weight of our sin leads to that, but the revelation that repentance also includes “changing your thinking” was a beautiful addition to my understanding of how the Lord transforms me.
Often times, what the Lord is calling us to do, is simply think about things from a heavenly perspective. Specifically, He has been asking me to rethink what abundance and blessing look like. I grew up in an upper-middle class white American home. We never had any real lack, and if the budget was tight, my mom always just made it work. So provision, in my mind, looked like always having more than enough. Which means any time I saw a lack in my life, I started to panic. Not that God had forsaken me (He never will) but that somehow I needed to “fix” whatever was causing the lack.
Over the last few weeks, as Holy Spirit has been guiding me in this new concept of gratitude, I’ve been called to stop seeing the lack and start seeing provision. Because despite the numbers on the page, despite the few hours in the day and the massive load of work that is on my plate, there is provision. Jesus promises us that God will provide each of us for the day at hand. Mercy is new every morning because we get enough for each day. It is our daily bread that we’re supposed to ask the Father for. The lack I see in my life isn’t a lack on God’s part. It is a misunderstanding of what provision looks like, and as I shift my thinking to align with God’s word, I see again that He is faithful. And I can find freedom in knowing that today, there will be enough for today. And by resting in that, by rejoicing in that, by refusing to contemplate all the areas where there could be more, I can find victory.