Somehow the cacophony of chaos drowned out the voice of the Holy Spirit whispering Jubilee over my life. Every time we would catch our breath, someone would throw another crap pie in our faces. It has been an endless cycle trying to scramble out of the pit, only to have the walls collapse under our feet.
When you've lived in a season of hard for a long time, a season that feels endless, where each step forward is met with crumbling ground, and each inch gained is met with forceful resistance, it is easy to let weariness become your baseline. But weariness was never meant to be our normal. We were created to have joy in the midst of all the terrible happenings, peace when chaos reigns supreme, and confidence in the one who writes the story.
Sometimes the dreams we are dreaming are not the dreams the Lord gave us to dream, and when we remove them, we make room in the soil for better things to grow.
As I've been surviving this, what seems never ending, season of hard, I've been trying my hand at new things. I took up watercolor painting which I love. Desperately. That started simply one night as I wept in my bed, worshipping, wondering when it would ever end, and why were we walking through all these … Continue reading Wonky Pots Still Hold Plants
I have a confession. I am high skilled at the art of failing to follow through. I can spitball ideas and plans with the best of them. I can even begin in the project, but when it comes to finishing, well... I'm not saying I never finish anything. I've got at least as many books … Continue reading Permission Granted
Happy New Year. It's been a minute, or something more like 364,000 minutes. Yeah, I looked it up. It is strange to me to think about that. That I started this blog with the intention of sharing, with whomever may read, my life, struggles and lessons learned along the way. But for some reason, I … Continue reading Happy New Year
I think all too often people see me as having my act together. I have had many people tell me I'm some sort of rock star or super hero. If anyone was thinking that, let me just clear things up for you a bit...my life, more than the fairytale people have spun...is often like this … Continue reading Poo under paper
Saying thank you for the dirty dishes, and the stinky laundry, and the messes all over the house has been tossed in my face enough times to make me want to gag. Jesus promises us that God will provide each of us for the day at hand. Mercy is new every morning because we get enough for each day. And I can find freedom in knowing that today, there will be enough for today.
I don't have the strength right now to walk with intense faith, but I can, from my emptiness, declare God's faithfulness and goodness over my life. So right now I'm choosing worship over worry. Choosing, intentionally, to drown out my fears and concerns with songs that declare my God's faithfulness, kindness, and goodness.
I don't know if the months of silence gave it away or not, but I've been struggling for a while now. Struggling to find the words to say. Struggling to make one more meal (and clean it up). Struggling, a lot of days, to get out of bed. And it has led to such a … Continue reading Victory through vunerability