When you've lived in a season of hard for a long time, a season that feels endless, where each step forward is met with crumbling ground, and each inch gained is met with forceful resistance, it is easy to let weariness become your baseline. But weariness was never meant to be our normal. We were created to have joy in the midst of all the terrible happenings, peace when chaos reigns supreme, and confidence in the one who writes the story.
I don't have the strength right now to walk with intense faith, but I can, from my emptiness, declare God's faithfulness and goodness over my life. So right now I'm choosing worship over worry. Choosing, intentionally, to drown out my fears and concerns with songs that declare my God's faithfulness, kindness, and goodness.
The whole thing makes me stand in awe really. Not of my husband, although he is awesome. But of the way life’s timing, God’s plans, they never quite look the way we want them too. From the outside, I would never have looked at this season of our lives and said, you know, this would be a great time for you to pursue your degree. From all practical standpoints, it wasn’t.